On Sunday night I had a date. My first date in nearly four years. You’d think then that I would have been nervous, but when it came to it, I really wasn’t.

I’m not going to say anything bad about my date – he wasn’t a hairy mole twiddler or anything, just a perfectly nice, ordinary man. What I wanted to talk about instead was how waiting at the pub at 8pm on Sunday, I realised how much I have changed in the last few years, since the last time I tried my hand at dating.

People are always saying that confidence in just an act, that if you are nervous about talking to new people, all you have to do is pretend not to be, and no one will ever know the difference. Well, it seems that over the last few years I’ve had a lot of practice at chatting to strangers – networking at blogging conferences, hosting workshops, delivering training, allowing my brains to be picked numerous times over coffee and cake – and it has paid off. Turns out I am pretty awesome at it.*

Coffee

Now I’m not saying I was a dream date, but I wasn’t scared at all and like to think I contributed to us both enjoying a very pleasant evening, regardless of whether or not there was any romantic spark. I asked questions, maintained eye contact and tried not to be too boastful (apart from during the ten minutes after my one and only glass of wine when it went to my head a little and I somehow dropped my degree prize into the conversation.**)

The date then, although not tummy churning, was a hugely positive experience and left me feeling good about myself not least because I felt we had been able to put each other at ease and enjoy an evening that wasn’t as awkward as a first date can often be. My confidence was further boosted in the morning when at 8am he sent me a text.

“You are quite an inspirational person,” he said. “Your drive and fearlessness of the unknown and willingness to take a chance is pretty amazing.”

I had the biggest smile on my face. Where I might see the choices I have made in my life as a little foolish and flighty, pretend hard enough and people will believe anything.

*And oh so modest.

**You see? Modest.

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Is there a word that applies to baking that is the equivalent of good gardeners having green fingers? Sponge-fingered maybe??

Whatever it is, I am not it.

I have never quite mastered the art of cake-making, my key weakness being an inability to make my sponges rise to anything other than the height of a Frisbee, no matter how high I sieve my flour from. My most infamous attempt at making one of my children a birthday cake resulted in me having to make two cakes – four whole layers of Victoria sandwich – just to make the cake normal height. I could have probably sliced it up and marketed it as one of those calorie-dense foods they send to countries experiencing famine.

I blame my mother of course. I don’t remember much from my childhood, but the pink fire engine she once made will stay with me forever.

If you’d like to learn how to be a little more sponge-fingered in the kitchen, then why not enter my competition to win a spot for you and a friend on the Vale House Kitchen’s Children’s birthday cake course with professional celebrity cake maker Sandra Monger? By the end of the day you’ll have created this amazing monster cake!

Vale House Kitchen monster cake

The course takes place on June 13th at Vale House Kitchen, near Bath. I’ve actually been on a course there already, and can vouch for its awesomeness. The Vale House Kitchen team are all lovely and the venue is gorgeous – even if you’re not that fussed about cakes it’s worth entering purely for a wonderful day out and a yummy lunch.

Vale House Kitchen

To enter, simply complete as many of the actions below as you can. The more you do the better your chances. The competition will close at midnight on May 19th. Full T&Cs apply.

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Disclosure: this is a sponsored post
Win competitions at ThePrizeFinder.com

 

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As Belle has moved into year six this September, over the next few weeks we have to go through the process of applying for her place at secondary school.

You might think I’d be an old hand at choosing schools, but actually I’ve never really thought about it much before. My choice of primary school has mainly been driven by things like a nice smell, or a particularly attractive male teacher, and when it came to choosing a big school for Bee, we were living in Bridgwater, less than a mile from the school that pretty much everyone in my family has been to, so not a lot of comparing of league tables went on there.

Now we’re in Bristol though, it’s a bit different. I know nothing about the schools, and although other parents seem to have known since birth where they want their little darlings to be educated, I’ve found it difficult to drum up any enthusiasm for the subject until recently. Even now ‘enthusiasm’ would be a strong word. ‘Obligation’ is probably more like it.

This week then, we went to our very first open evening at a local all girls school that has recently gone from being fee-paying to an academy.

“Do you think there will be drinks?” Bee asked Belle as we walked down the hill.

“Yes,” she answered decisively.

“How about cakes?”

“Probably…”

“No,” I interrupted.

“…not.” finished Belle, seamlessly.

If  ‘finding the entrance’ is part of the selection process, I fear we may have reduced our chances already, as it took us ten minutes and three attempts to even get in. When we did, we were greeted and shown around by a carefully chosen selection of wonderfully smiley and polite young girls in blazers. Rather too smiley in my opinion. A little bit Stepford Wives.

The school seemed fine. It had desks and chairs and everything, and far more computers than we had in my day obviously. Cue jokes from my children and Boyfriend about writing on slates and counting spearheads.

How do you know though whether a school is right for your child? It was the evening, meaning I couldn’t do my usual trick of judging the smell of the school dinners, so I was at a bit of a loss. It had everything a school should have facilities wise, but how do I know if it has that something that will ensure the right balance for Belle of fun, discipline, ambition and independence?

To add to the frustration, it’s doubtful that we’ll get much choice even if I should have a preference, as Bristol is well-known for being difficult when it comes to admissions. In that case, perhaps I should be focussing on the argument that says it’s support at home that’s what’s really important when it comes to achievement?

That sounds a bit too much like hard work for me though. Homework? Projects? Educational days out? I’d rather not. I quite like the idea that school is responsible for stimulating and educating her, and that I’m in charge of chillaxing. I always feel less guilty about her watching TV if she has been at school during the day.

Looks like boarding school it is.

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What do you reckon? Is the power of suggestion enough to rid you of food cravings and help you lose weight?

Apparently so…

For a few weeks now I’ve been trying out a new weight loss technique from Thinking Slimmer. The theory is that it’s not a diet at all, rather a shift in the way you think about food, which means you will lose weight without the need for willpower. This is a good job, because I don’t have any.

Every night for at least 21 days to start with, you have to listen to a recording – your ‘Slimpod’ – and over time you form new habits and new ways of thinking. According to the website, the Slimpod will “gently change your relationship to food and exercise by retuning the way your mind works, so you never diet again. There’s no calorie counting, no horrible tasting food replacements, no hunger pangs, no anguish, no guilt and no pain.”

There is the added bonus too that the man on the recording sounds a lot like Jude Law, and having Jude Law whisper how confident and lovely you are in your ear as you lie in bed every night is rather nice.

Sounds all too good to be true doesn’t it?

Well, I’ve listened to mine now for the initial 21 days and I must say I really have noticed differences in the way I think about food. Normally I think about food a lot, and I mean a lot, but it was less than a week into the trial before I began to find my thoughts less consumed with food than they normally are. It wasn’t a dramatic shift, just a gradual realisation that I was going for longer without thinking about snacking. When it does come to eating I seem to have a much more ‘take it or leave it’ approach, which makes it much easier to make the right choices.

Can you think yourself thin?

No thank you.

Saying no to puddings doesn’t feel like I’m depriving myself anymore, it feels like a positive choice, and this is a massive difference for me. I haven’t lost any weight yet (although I haven’t gained any either), but apparently this is OK, as it’s a long-term lifestyle change. I will keep listening, and let you know when the weight does start to shift.

Alongside my Slimpod, I’ve been listening to a Fitpod, designed to make you feel more inclined to exercise. To motivate me even further, I was given some fancy sportswear by Debenhams. My not very encouraging family took some pictures of me in it.

“Not like that,” said Boyfriend, “you look ridiculous. Just stand still! What’s wrong with your face?” Talk about pressure.

“Try and look sporty?” suggested Bee. So I did.

"Debenhams sports wear"

Me looking sporty

“Oh dear,” said Bee, “not like that. Try something else.”

“How about a bit of casual stretching?” I said.

"Debenhams sportswear"

Casual stretching

“Well, it’s better than the sporty look,” she admitted, “but still weird.”

We gave up in the end, and I went off to my netball match. My new sports gear does make me feel more professional on court than when I used to go in a pair of old pyjama bottoms and a Johnny Cash t-shirt, but to be honest I haven’t noticed the effects of the Fitpod as much as the Slimpod, and would still rather have a little sit down 95% of the time if given the choice.

I did wonder if it’s because the Slimpod comes first on my playlist, and I’m always snoozing by the second track, but I’ve been reassured it shouldn’t matter if I fall asleep.

Perhaps my laziness is just more deeply ingrained than my greed.

 

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Welcome to a week in tweets, my regular weekly round-up of the week in 140 characters or less. I say regular – regular apart from last week, when I forgot.

I’ve tweeted over the last few weeks as Belle, as Bee, and as Nancy Drew, girl detective, so I thought it was about time I stopped hiding behind other people and wrote about my own week for a change. This week I’m feeling bad about the amount of biscuits I’ve eaten and television I’ve watched, so I thought I’d do a bit of a confessional.

As always, it’s more of a retrospective than an absolute accurate-to-the-day factual record, so if you’d like to have a go yourself this week, and add your post to my linky, do feel free to exercise a bit of artistic licence.

Monday – Went to book group. Took wine and haribo as a gift. Couldn’t resist second slice of cake and glass of wine. #reallyshouldn’thavedonethat

Tuesday – Went to @theSteadyTable. Gave out free books to passers-by. Flirted with young boys in an effort to get them to read blog. #reallyshouldn’thavedonethat

Wednesday – My birthday! Got a lot of books and jam. Lay in bed reading when should have been working. #reallyshouldn’thavedonethat

Thursday – Got asked for ID to buy wine in Sainsbury’s. Pointed out I am now 34. Went home with lemonade. Wished I’d taken ID #reallyshouldhavedonethat

Friday – Tried to make my own jaffa cakes. Yelled at over-eager daughter for not spooning mixture accurately. #reallyshouldn’thavedonethat

Saturday – Went to local wholefood shop. Spent too much money on halva, dried figs and milk made of coconuts. #reallyshouldn’thavedonethat

Sunday – Took ungrateful children to indoor shopping centre in the rain. Tried to buy their co-operation in John Lewis creperie. #reallyshouldn’thavedonethat

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