I had an email this morning from a PR I’ve person not worked with before with the offer of a review for my blog.

‘Hi Lovely!’ it began, which immediately made me want to punch the sender in the face.

‘Hope you’re well,’ she went on. ‘We are looking for a Mum who’s had several natural births, for a non-invasive £5K vaginal rejuvenation treatment on offer with top Harley Street Doctor.’

What the actual f***? My first thought was of the doctor adjusting his head torch, and going in with a feather duster and one of those Dulux tester posts of satin finish emulsion. And then I got pissed off.

I wrote back.

‘Thanks for your email but it’s not one for me thanks,’ I said. ‘I have had two natural births which were, as you say, NATURAL. I’m quite happy with my vagina and do not want or need it rejuvenated. I find it very sad that women are made to believe that they would ever need to spend £5,000 on something as ridiculous as this.’

I mean come on.

I hate this. I hate that women are conditioned to loathe their bodies to the point that they would consider spending actual money on having their VAGINAS REJUVENATED. What the hell is the matter with the world?? Can we not just content ourselves with the MIRACLE THAT IS BIRTH?!?!

vaginal rejuvenation

Image – Vasiuk Iryna/shutterstock

‘Oh yeah, I have grown and birthed two healthy human beings, but to be honest I think things are looking a bit shabby down there now, so I should probably have that tidied up.’

FOR WHO??

Who are we doing this for?

I’m pretty sure it’s not for ourselves. Do you crouch over a mirror every morning and dream of rejuvenation? After the treatment would you get dressed thinking ‘I’m so glad I had my vagina tidied up, I’m going to look so much better for it in my meeting this afternoon.’

It made me mad.

Is it just me?

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This post is in partnership with Universal Pictures Home Entertainment

Did you watch SING when it was on at the cinema? Belle and I did. We’d been seeing the trailers for absolutely months and really looking forward to it. It’s out in the UK on DVD and Blu-ray next week – May 22nd – so this is to get you EXCITED!

In case you’ve not seen it, this will get you in the mood:

Ahhh! That was nice wasn’t it? That made me all smiley.

I love a proper ‘if you just want it hard enough, you can make your dreams come true’ type of film. Especially went it involves a German pig in a red leotard.

“I’m warning you, this stage is about to EXPLODE with major piggy power.” View Post

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I bought a new camera this week.

It’s smaller, neater, smarter and generally better than my old camera, but it’s currently sat in its bag on the table because I am scared of it.

I can switch it on, and take pictures with it, but it has all of these buttons and functions that I just don’t understand. It troubles me.

I tried looking up the manual online, to help me out, but it had lines like this in it:

When using an interchangeable lens with O.I.S. switch (such as H-FS14140), stabilizer function is activated if the O.I.S. switch of the lens is set to [ON].

Nope.

I tried more slowly, thinking that if I took my time over it, it would make sense.

Still no.

Okay, you might think, maybe I don’t need to actually know about the interchangeable lens thingy, perhaps I’m overreacting, but the trouble is that this terror doesn’t just happen with complex things.

Let’s say we go away to stay somewhere for the weekend. We get there, and we’re settling in. I’ve put the kettle on, unpacked my suitcase, and perhaps I want to watch a bit of TV. I pick up the remote control and BAM!

I might as well be sat at one of those big air traffic control desks. I literally have no idea where to start. All the buttons look the same – they are all staring at me, laughing silently to themselves because I don’t know which one to press and it scares me. I feel like if I look away, they might all quickly change places, just for jokes.

remote controls View Post

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I had a very interesting day on Thursday last week.

For those of you who didn’t know, (which is probably most of you), Thursday May 11th was Somerset Day, a day for celebrating all things Somerset. I live in Somerset and I love it, so I wanted to get involved, and ended up getting roped into a day long A to Z challenge. The idea was to showcase the diversity of industry in the county, by travelling around Somerset meeting as many different people as possible, finding out more about the jobs they do. (Check out the activity on @SomersetHour for Thursday if you want to see pictures.)

Because Somerset is a pretty big county, with lots of hills and moors and what not, we split into areas and I was given Sedgemoor, which is the bit in the middle that includes Bridgwater, North Petherton, Burnham-on-Sea and Cheddar:

Get Fruit Somerset Day

It’s a pretty big area, but not the biggest district in Somerset, and it does have a handy stretch of motorway through the middle, so I think I got a pretty good deal.

It all worked out very nicely actually, as it coincided with me having a Hyundai i30 to test drive, plus the lovely team at Get Fruity stocked me up with their yummy fruit and oat bars to keep me sustained during the day. View Post

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crying in public

Image – CREATISTA/shutterstock

 

Is it okay to cry in public? I say YES. This is why…

Bee phoned me this week. I answered the phone and there was a second or two of snuffling before I heard a little voice.

‘I cried at work!’ she said, snuffling a bit more. (She works at Starbucks, just to give you some context.) To be totally honest I was surprised that she hadn’t already cried at work, because she does cry a healthy amount, so I was quite impressed.

‘Oh no!’ I said. ‘It’s okay! Where are you now?’

‘I’m on the ground,’ she replied.

‘As in you’ve gone outside for some fresh air and are sat on the pavement or you’ve slid helplessly down a wall and are now lying on the floor?’ (It’s good to be clear.) View Post

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