My last post about infidelity sparked some really interesting discussion, and has got me thinking about just what fidelity means, and how important it actually is in a relationship.
So, given I always get such thoughtful interesting responses, I wanted to ask some more questions about what loyalty in a relationship means to you.
Firstly of course we have the issue of what is cheating? I think we have established that the majority of men (all my readers excepted obviously), would probably cheat if they had the chance and knew they could get away with it, but what exactly do you define as cheating? Is it a kiss? Is it sex? Or do men take the Bill Clinton approach to just how much bad behaviour you can defend… ‘I did not have intercourse with that woman…’
I was talking to a male friend at the weekend about infidelity and he came out with a rather shocking statement.
He said that the only thing that stopped men from cheating on their partners was the possibility of getting caught. He reckoned that if there was a guarantee that the wives and girlfriends would never find out, that ONE HUNDRED PERCENT of men would cheat.
I will say that again just in case you didn’t hear me properly – ONE HUNDRED PERCENT.
I’m having one of those days today where you question the point of things. It’s very annoying. It could be summer holiday boredom kicking in already, but as it’s still actually only the weekend, that would seem a bit premature.
It’s a really frustrating way of thinking, and I’m hoping if I write it down, it will sound so self-indulgent and pathetic that I will be shamed into thinking more positively.
This is how the conversation went this morning in my head:
I can’t believe it’s really nearly here. I’ve been looking forward to it with a mixture of relief, excitement and dread and now I only have one more day to go.
The summer holidays. (DUM DUM DUUUUM!)
What fun stuff has everyone got planned? Holidays? Outings? Adoption?
This summer is going to be different from most for me. It will be the first summer where I have been officially working for myself and it’s a fantastic relief not to have to worry about holiday clubs, childcare or missing out on any fun.
But that’s the problem in itself. No childcare. ‘Excellent!’ I thought to myself, ‘I will wind down to the holidays, keep work to a minimum and enjoy lots of Quality Time with the girls’. But now I’m starting to get a tad panicky. Winding down is all very well, but I do still actually have some work to do, and you know how these things happen – the minute you actively DON’T want to get offered anything, you can guarantee something will land in your lap.
So the no childcare thing suddenly seems just a little bit foolhardy. Don’t get me wrong, I love my children, they are fabulous, but six weeks of non-stop seven-year old may just tip me over the edge.
Picture the scene…
You’re having some problems in your relationship, or maybe you want some dating tips. You want to avoid the obvious solutions such as open communication with a partner, so naturally you go online. But where do you go?
Well obviously you come here!
We all know this is the place to be for relationship advice. Even the army are taking tips from me don’t forget.
OK, so I may be a lesson more in how NOT to behave if you want to find yourself a partner, but it’s useful nonetheless. And if not useful then hopefully at least mildly entertaining.
So I was thinking, casually to myself you know, that maybe you’d fancy nominating me for one of the new cosmo blog awards – the ‘sex and relationships’ category. It is very straightforward, you don’t have to even fill in your name – just say something vaguely complimentary about me.
I know what you’re thinking – ‘Well what’s in it for me? I’m sick of voting for Jo in stuff…’
So this is my pledge. If I make the shortlist, I promise to pluck up the courage to ask a man out, go on a date, and tell you all about it. I don’t know who yet. I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it.
Honestly, I hadn’t even thought of making that kind of promise when I began writing this, and I’m regretting it already. Please don’t nominate me at all, forget I mentioned it…
*has mild panic attack*