I’ve not been interested in dating at all now for a good six months. It’s actually the most chill I’ve ever felt relationship wise and I’m really enjoying doing my own thing, pottering about and basically not caring much about anything.

I’ve painted a wall in my bedroom a really dark greeny teal colour (there’s a picture on my Facebook page) and rearranged the furniture so that my bed is now in a corner and can only be accessed from one side. If that isn’t a statement of intent then I don’t know what is. I even went to an evening class and learned how to make prints in a dark room. Menopause here I come.

A few days ago though I had a bit of a moment – curiosity more than anything I think – and I redownloaded Tinder, just to see. Obviously the first thing I saw was a man holding a big fish, and then another looking incredibly sad and like dating might tip him over the edge, (two ticks on my Tinder bingo card), and so it served as a welcome reminder of why cats are better than boyfriends.

(I also saw that the man who called me a liar was still there. Not sure why he hasn’t been snapped up.)

I did have a cheeky swipe though, just to check that the evening course hadn’t crushed all of my desirability, and I got a few matches back. Fine. In my experience barely anyone ever actually bothers to message once they known that they could if they wanted to, so I didn’t feel under pressure.

And then this morning I got this lovely message and felt it my duty to reply:

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I had an email this weekend out of the blue from a woman looking for some advice. I was flattered, although slightly concerned on her behalf, that she had come to ME for advice. I don’t exactly have a great track record. She was interested in whether or not to tell dates about having children, and my experience of dating as a single parent.

I hope she won’t mind me quoting part of her email, as it’s anonymous:

‘I am a single parent with young children.’ she wrote. ‘The thought of dating again terrifies me and partly because I am afraid of being judged. Did you feel like you were judged when you went out on dates as a single mother? Did you find it awkward bringing it up especially when the man doesn’t have children? I’m going through all the ‘what ifs’ in my mind and frankly I sometimes feel like a failure.’

I wanted to share it because I’m sure it’s something a lot of single parents worry about and I thought it might be useful to think about it a bit.

should you tell dates about your children? View Post

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PROMOTION

About a year ago I found myself Googling ‘should I dump my boyfriend?’

We’d been together for about three years and I clearly wasn’t happy with how the relationship was going. Having been in and out of several medium term relationships though, I’d stopped trusting my own judgment. It’s hard too when you are IN a relationship to get an objective view of things. I thought Google might be able to help me.

I found dozens and dozens of articles of course, all full of lists and bullet points designed to help me decide whether I should dump my boyfriend. ‘Does he get on with your friends?’ some asked. ‘Can you picture having children with him?’ Not relevant to me.

What I wanted though was an answer.

I wanted to put in ‘should I dump my boyfriend?’ and for a page to pop up just saying YES or NO. The lists weren’t helping me, they didn’t seem conclusive enough. Yes, sometimes he made me feel bad about myself, but also yes, we often had fun together. Was there a mark out of ten I should be getting when I worked through the bullet points??

And then I came across an article that made me stop and think.

It started off with the usual non-helpful information, telling me what a difficult decision it was, blah blah blah, but then the final point in the list was different.

‘You just searched for ‘should I dump my boyfriend?’ on the internet,’ it said, or words to that effect. ‘Isn’t that answer enough for you?’

It was a tipping point for me. Of course I wanted to end the relationship. If I didn’t, why would I be asking Google to validate my decision? Why would I be Googling such a loaded question?

And so I did.

If this is you, take a minute now to think about it. Would you really be searching for a justification to end your relationship if everything was hunky dory?

Probably not.

Are you just wanting someone to tell you that it’s okay to dump your boyfriend, that you don’t even NEED a justification other than that ‘you want to’? Because it’s okay to just want to, it’s okay to simply no longer be happy or fulfilled.

I hope that helped.

should I dump my boyfriend?

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Why romantic honeymoon destinations? A lot of things I read about weddings tell me to remember that your wedding is just one day, to not spend too much money, that it’s the marriage that matters, blah blah blah…

Sure.*

How about the honeymoon then? That’s at least seven whole days, so it figures that I can spend seven times as many hours daydreaming about it, right?

Absolutely.

After much selfless browsing then, all in the name of research, I’ve picked out six of my favourite romantic honeymoon destinations. Take a look, if you dare, but don’t blame me if you get sucked in and spend the next hour dreaming about having a pina colada in your hand.

Beach-front villa in Paje, Tanzania

When you think honeymoon, this is what you think, isn’t it? It’s sun, sea, sand, panoramic roof top terrace – what more could you want? This villa is one of 11 as part of an exclusive complex, so when you’ve had your fill of secluded lounging you can make use of the restaurant, spa or kitesurfing centre.

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films to watch on Valentine's Day

The most romantic day of the year is fast approaching and if you’d rather curl up on a day bed and order a take away this February 14th, you’ll want a good film lined up for after you’ve devoured each and every last poppadom crumb.


There really is nothing worse than spending hours trawling through Netflix in search of an appealing film and then failing. Either a) you can’t find something decent to watch or b) you start watching a film and realise it’s not your cup of tea. Well, I can save you precious time on Valentine’s Day with my personal film recommendations for a romantic night in. Here’s what made the cut: View Post

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This is a little shout out for my friend Kirsten Butler, aka Little Wedding Helper, who runs something called The Wedding Sessions. The Wedding Sessions are interactive workshops, aimed at anyone in the wedding industry looking to meet other creative types and get some inspiration to help them move their business forward. It doesn’t matter if you’re just you, at your kitchen table, drawing invitations, or a big business with a huge turnover – there is something for everyone at the Wedding Sessions.

At the last workshop, back in September at The Forge in Bristol (a lovely space, where I’ll be hosting a social media workshop on February 1st, should you fancy it), I was honoured to be asked to co-host with Kirsten. It was really lovely to be involved and to experience the passion of so many talented individuals working in the wedding industry. We chatted about issues and opportunities, shared stories and advice, ate yummy food, and of course, posted lots of pictures to Instagram. You can see lots of snaps from the day below, (courtesy of Evoke Pictures), which hopefully will inspire you to come along for yourself to a 2017 session.

Find out more at The Wedding Sessions.

(And sign up to The Forge newsletter if you’d like a reminder about my social media workshop!)

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wedding favour place setting balloons Balloon Time helium

 

As you will know if you saw my Halloween balloon post, or my very cute advent balloons, I’m currently mid way through a project with Balloon Time, the helium people. The latest post in my series, (this one, in case you were a bit slow cottoning on), is a wedding balloon idea, although it’s so versatile, you could adapt it to make place settings for any sort of occasion really.

The idea behind this post came from my obsession with spider babies, but if you don’t have any spider babies at your disposal, you could buy any sort of small plant, or even plant your own seeds. Belle used these little buckets to plant me up a mini succulent for Mothers’ Day, and that worked very well too.

So, first up, what do you need to make my wedding favour place setting balloons? View Post

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Yesterday we booked a venue for our wedding.

Hoorah!

It’s happening in April, so I realise that in wedding terms we are leaving it all very late in the day, but I’ve been feeling so laid back about the whole thing, it didn’t feel like an issue. ‘God, people make so much of a fuss about weddings, what’s the matter with them?’ I’d been thinking to myself. ‘It’s so easy, what even is there to do?’

Last night though, lying in bed at 1am, I realised that I had been so laid back exactly because we hadn’t done anything. In the middle of the night, it felt like the booking of the venue was a big cork coming out of a bottle. A bottle that had been shaken consistently for about 8 months.

BANG! View Post

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They put that exclamation mark at the end of their name, not me – that’s just how much fun they are!

(I did that one.)

As you may remember, although I actually haven’t gone on about it as much as I thought I might, I got engaged this year, and so with really not long to go until the big day, I have been doing a bit of planning by designing some personalised wedding decorations through Hello Party!

(And when I say ‘a little bit of planning’, these wedding decorations literally all I have done. I work best nearer a deadline.)

It’s a pretty ace site, and you can make all sorts of personalised decorations, cards and banners, not just wedding related things, but I’m going to talk you through the wedding decorations.

First up, you choose a theme. Hello Party! very kindly came up with a new design, based on my favourite colours, so if you like ‘rustic watercolour’, you have me to thank. View Post

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A guest post from my clearly emotionally damaged daughter Bee. Opps.

People always assume that I am from my personality, but I’m not a romantic person. This could be for a number of reasons.

1) Being in love is effort that I just don’t have time for.

2) As I so bluntly put it to my therapist once, “I’m not bothering, because I’ve never seen a successful relationship before, so why the hell should I try? I could be going to the post office or something useful rather than gazing into someone’s eyes who I am inevitably going to end up despising.”

Anyway.

I’m not totally cynical, it’s not that I don’t love people. I love my friends and family. I love Paul Rudd. I just can’t stand any kind of romantic mush, whether it’s idiots on my Facebook timeline, people kissing on the street, (get the hell out of my way), or slightly boring men who think they can whip up a ‘romantic’ and ‘original’ proposal to sweep their equally dull girlfriend off her feet.

This morning I was watching marriage proposal videos on YouTube (as you do) and found some totally cringe proposals that had me chanting “say NO, say NO!” like the lovely person I am. Here are some of the videos where I wanted to actively run in and stop it from happening, Hollyoaks style. View Post

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A guest post from my fiancé, as he knows much more about wine than me.

wedding wines

Now, no sniggering at the back, please – if I ask you what you think of when you think of the morning after a wedding reception, what springs to mind? The DJ was rubbish? Who managed to get gravy on my jacket? Who was it that I promised to give piano lessons to for free? Maybe that’s just me.

All of the above thoughts are probably coupled with a hangover, at varying levels of severity and intensity. Drink is a big part of weddings, and given that weddings are now more a test of endurance for guests than a short afternoon out, getting your wines right, and more importantly, getting them to match your budget, is key. Every wedding has guests with unquenchable thirsts, or ‘professional drinkers’, and we’re starting to think about how to keep them running like well oiled machines at our reception. View Post

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In my head right now I am singing ‘here comes the bride’. Take a minute if you will to do the same and get into the right mood.

(Note that I am singing the ‘here comes the bride, all fat and wide’ version, because that’s the only version I know.)

(Another thought – does it even have words?)

Anyway, that’s the kind of mindset I need you in, as today I am sat at home waiting for the arrival of my eBay wedding dress. I have never bought a wedding dress from eBay before; in fact I don’t know if I have even bought a regular dress from eBay before. It’s jolly exciting anyway.

I wish I could tell you all about it and post a picture, but that would rather spoil the whole ‘groom not seeing your dress’ thing wouldn’t it? I could ask him not to look, but what groom is really going to think ‘sure, I’ll let the whole of the internet look, but I’ll be sure to avoid that one blog post.’

I’ve never been into wedding dresses as a thing, so have no idea if it’s even going to suit me. I’ve never looked at wedding dresses for fun, never even tried one on before, even just to pretend. I am a complete wedding dress virgin. Today will be my actual first time. View Post

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