I’ve been wanting to write this post for a long time. Every time we drive past the £11 hairdresser I complain about it, and as it’s on the way to the station, I complain about it a lot. It has got to the point where I think my family are finding ME more annoying than I am finding the hairdresser.
(Note: it used to be the ‘everything’s £9.90’ hairdresser. That’s inflation for you.)
Hopefully after writing this, all of my frustration will dissipate, and I can drive to the station again without making anyone want to stab me.
I would start by telling you the name of the hairdresser, but it doesn’t obviously seem to have one. It might be called ‘no appointment needed’, as that is displayed in very large letters, but when you look closely at the sign, I think actually it’s called ‘Celly’s Everything’s Everything’s Everything’s £11’, which I think is a very catchy name.
(Can you even imagine how much more upsetting this whole shop would be if they had forgotten the apostrophes?)
Okay, so far, so good. The front of the shop is covered in posters and signs celebrating the fact that everything’s £11. How simple! How straightforward! How lovely for a change to come across something that just does what it says it’s going to do – no frills, no complications.
‘I could do with a quick haircut!’ you might think to yourself, ‘and £11 seems very reasonable, I’ll just pop in and see if they can take an inch or so off my just-below-shoulder-length hair!’
If your hair is longer than shoulder length there will be a supplement, and it will not cost £11.
‘Ah, that’s a shame!’ you think to yourself, ‘as I’ve got my £11 ready, and I don’t want to carry around all this change. Perhaps I’ll get my son’s hair cut instead.’
You’re still going to have a pocket full of change I’m afraid.
Okay, okay, so how about if you send your husband in? He’s not a child AND he has short hair, and he just wants it clippered, so that will be £11 surely?
Can you see where I’m going with this??
It wouldn’t irritate me so much if the WHOLE PRINCIPLE OF THE SHOP wasn’t based on the fact that EVERYTHING IS £11. There are signs absolutely littering the windows exclaiming the fact, and yet clearly it’s all a massive lie.
In fact, the closer you look, the harder it seems to be to find anything that IS £11.
Even on of the posters advertising things that AREN’T £11, you aren’t even being given a genuine price.
The woman in the poster below very clearly has hair that is over shoulder length, and yet, hair model lady, I’m afraid that if you were to turn up at the ‘everything is £11’ hairdresser wanting top section highlights, don’t expect to pay £38.90 for them. Look closely at the poster and you’ll see that for the privilege of having hair longer than shoulder length, that good old surcharge is going to apply.
It seems to me that basically, unless you are an adult woman, with a short bob, wanting nothing more than a trim, that pretty much NOTHING costs £11 at the £11 hairdresser.
Is it just me who finds this totally infuriating??
I get that having different things done at the hairdresser costs different amounts. I’m totally okay with that. I wouldn’t go to a garage that said ‘EVERYTHING’S £29!’ because I know that a new clutch costs more than £29.
And that’s what makes it so much more annoying, because the whole principle of the damn thing is so unnecessary.
I shouldn’t worry though, because as the last poster I look at tells me, I will always be welcomed in a professional and courteous manner, and can enjoy freely available refreshments and magazines.
Oh, ‘and still everything is just £11.00.’
(Except it’s not.)