A short rant about Amazon packaging

amazon packaging

First up, I know. I know I shouldn’t shop at Amazon and that if I have a problem with Amazon packaging then I should go to my local shop with a string bag and chat to the greengrocer and generally be a better person. But I’m not, so let’s get over that. Sometimes I just don’t have time.

Okay, so Amazon packaging.

I have two issues.

Firstly, what’s with the tape designed to slice off your fingers??

I’m picturing a big meeting room with one of those annoying glass tables where you’re afraid to put your mug down in case you smash it. This is how I imagine the conversation going:

‘So, packaging ideas – hit me with them.’

‘Guys! I know what we should do! We should add some hidden cheese wire to our tape, so that the next time someone innocently slides their finger underneath it to try and open their parcel, they’ll just be left in a bloody mess!’

‘Genius! Then they’ll have to order antiseptic wipes and plasters – the ultimate upsell!’

It doesn’t stop there though. If you can actually open your parcel without hospitalising yourself then you’re in for a second treat.

It looks something like this:

amazon packaging

What’s that you say? That looks just like a massive box full of scrunched up paper?

It does rather doesn’t it?

Pull out the entire tree’s worth of paper though and inside you’ll find… what? A single book? A pencil? A box of tic tacs?

Seriously Amazon – what the hell is the matter with you? Why do you feel the need to send everything in boxes as big as the world when you know then you just have to fill them all up with paper??

It drives me nuts.

*orders colouring book from Amazon to calm down*

Images – Hadrian and Jeramey Lende both from Shutterstock

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21 Comments

  1. Vicky
    Twitter:
    2 February, 2017 / 12:49 pm

    I hate amazon tape, finally remembered need scissors to open them. The boxes with paper (recycle compared to inflated plastic bags!) My recycle bin was overflowing at Christmas because of it all.

  2. 2 February, 2017 / 8:45 pm

    I think the idea is that the tape is fully recyclable as paper/card (and indeed could be made from recycled source in the first place) whilst still strong enough to hold the packages closed. I have to say with the amount of parcels they send using this kind of tape plus paper inside instead of the plastic alternative is pretty good of them.
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  3. Nicola Doherty
    Twitter:
    2 February, 2017 / 9:08 pm

    This made me laugh!!! It’s exactly what I think when I get an Amazon delivery!!!!

  4. ElizM
    2 February, 2017 / 9:30 pm

    I am soooooooo with you on that one. At least your package arrived.I gave up paying for Prime because it was a joke. not so much a question of “how soon” as “if ever”! But yes, I shop on Amazon too…

  5. Keith Hunt
    Twitter:
    2 February, 2017 / 10:07 pm

    I love amazon boxes as we pass them on to a friend that saves £100s off for her ebay craft shop shipping costs.

    • Keith Hunt
      Twitter:
      2 February, 2017 / 10:09 pm

      She once payed £2 per box and £22 for a roll of brown paper.

  6. 2 February, 2017 / 10:11 pm

    ARG I hate companies being so wasteful. Surely a company as big as Amazon should have jumped on the eco friendly bandwagon by now. So ridiculous. Poor trees.

  7. Katie S
    Twitter:
    2 February, 2017 / 11:11 pm

    Amazon packaging paper makes great kindling.
    That may be the most middle class thing I’ve ever written.

  8. Dawn F
    Twitter:
    2 February, 2017 / 11:28 pm

    I think the tape is designed so you don’t need to use scissors. If you tear from the edge, it opens. And that is coming from a person who cuts herself on everything. The brown paper is crazy though. At least it is recyclable. I’ve had the tiny palm sized order in the giant box but I have also had six glass bottles rolling around under a swathe of brown paper too.

  9. A S,Edinburgh
    Twitter:
    3 February, 2017 / 3:38 am

    That tape is awful. As far as I know I do need to take it off before the cardboard goes in the recycling, because of the way that’s divided up where I am, and it takes ages to get it off. The plastic string sticks to the card and I’m scraping bits off with my fingernails for who knows how long.

  10. 3 February, 2017 / 9:21 am

    Yes I have often wondered that, we order say a firs stick and it comes in a box big enough to send an elephant in. The 3 year old twins and their 10 year old brother were hiding in a box yesterday, yes all 3 of them in one amazon box.
    My daughter reckons if she can get them selling fresh fruit and veg she will never have to leave the house to shop again.. We as a family more than get our moneys worth out of amazon prime I can tell you.
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  11. Simon Barlow
    Twitter:
    3 February, 2017 / 10:01 am

    Unfortunately, if people want cheap and convenient, someone somewhere down the line will be paying for it! In this case, robots have taken the place of people. Robots are fast, but they can’t make the decisions that we would like all the time, hence the over stuffing.

    I used to work for amazon so know first hand! We want cheap now, so we have to pay the price somewhere else. 6 years after leaving them I rarely use them any more. I have gone back to browsing local shops which I find far more fulfilling.

  12. 7 February, 2017 / 2:30 pm

    Yes! So much yes! We order alot from Amazon and the tape drives me crazy!

  13. Tina
    7 February, 2017 / 10:43 pm

    Love Amazon – I reuse their boxes and brown paper stuffing – they have only let me down a couple of times with prime delivery – and the tape has not caused any injurys yet!!! But you do make me laugh – your a fantastic blogger…..

    • Jo Middleton
      8 February, 2017 / 11:55 am

      Thanks Tina 🙂

  14. Spencer Broadley
    Twitter:
    11 February, 2017 / 9:19 am

    I ordered a paperback book – normal size – but it ended up being delivered in a 2 foot by 1 foot box with a label of “fragile” on it !!!!
    Pure stupidity!!!

  15. Judith Mitchell
    Twitter:
    17 February, 2017 / 1:00 am

    I always have problems with tape – I learnt long ago to not bothering to open parcels until I had a pair of scissors or safety knife in hand! The type that is worse for me is the cardboard ‘sleeves’ with a tear strip – having dexterity problems I end up pulling the tear strip with my teeth…

    Methinks Amazon try to save money (so they can make more profit) by only having 2 sizes of boxes. Which is why a single solitary paperback turns up in a box that could easily hold about half a library…

  16. 7 March, 2017 / 3:25 pm

    I had this exact same thing recently and was amazed by the sheer size of the packaging. I’d bought a fabric dog lead, not particularly fragile so could have been packaged in a biodegradable plastic bag and I would have been happy, but it came in a huge box with loads of packaging inside. All for a tiny little dog lead!

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