In the 21st century, divulging ones sexual history to a brand new partner is a sometimes embarrassing necessity. But, it’s also a crucial step on the path to any adult relationship. Sharing the secrets on your sexual past may not be easy, but it’s certainly not impossible. When you stop to think about it, anyone who is dear enough to be invited to your boudoir ought to be receptive to “the talk” about sex and STDs. In the interest of sexual happiness and good health for all, we are pleased to present these savvy tips that may make sharing your sexual history easier and less stressful than you ever imagined.
When to have “the talk”
Don’t worry. Nobody expects you to divulge your complete sexual history to anyone with whom you have no intention of being intimate. You can have all the coffee dates you like without ever revealing who you’ve slept with or how many sex partners or STDs you’ve had. The moment you have an inkling of desire, however, you must prepare yourself to have “the talk” with your potential partner. In fact, you should discuss sexual health with one other before you ever become intimate with anyone, says Mayo Clinic.
If you think that the conversation about sexual history can wait until right before you engage in intercourse, please think again. The time to reveal your sexual health history is before you do anything more than hold hands or kiss lightly. Any sort of skin-to-skin contact can spread the germs that cause gonorrhoea, chlamydia, HIV and other STD infections.
What to talk about during the STD conversation with your potential partner
If you are hot enough to consider sex with someone, you sure as heck better be caring enough to reveal your sexual history and expect the same from them before you get intimate, says Huffington Post.
Don’t wait until the other person broaches the subject of sexual history. In fact, it may be safe to assume that they will not say a word about sexual history until you bring up the subject yourself. If your potential partner refuses to have “the talk,” you should run the other way as fast as you can.
Have the conversation no later than early on the day or night you think you will “do it” for the first time. Bring up the topic over the evening’s first glass of wine, not while you’re tearing each other’s clothes off. Be as matter of fact as you can, and don’t be embarrassed. If your potential partner truly cherishes you (and they better, if you’re going to sleep with them), they will be relieved that you were the one to talk first.
Do you need to talk about bacterial infections such as gonorrhoea that’s already been treated and cured? Maybe, maybe not. Be sure to mention any chronic STD you may have such as herpes or HIV. Revealing cured STD may actually endear you to the other person because you’re so forthright and honest about your sexual past.
If you’ve slept with more people than your partner, or vice versa, don’t worry. These days, nobody expects their partner to be a virgin. Open honesty is the best policy and may establish a healthy foundation for your new love relationship.
What STDs are and why they’re important
Sexually transmitted diseases are actually a big deal. Something like gonorrhoea may be cured with a shot or two of penicillin, but if left untreated, can cause sterility. Syphilis, if left unchecked, can blind your future babies and eventually kill you. HIV is a lifelong disease than can be treated with life-extending medications, but there is no permanent cure at this time.
How to protect yourself and your partner(s) from STD infection
The only true way to prevent STD 100 percent is to abstain from sexual activity altogether. While that’s in no way realistic for healthy adults, it goes to show how easy it is to contract an STD from any sex partner.
Two adults in a monogamous relationship with one another have an excellent chance of avoiding all sexually transmitted infections. People who have sex outside the relationship put their partners at risk and should use a condom every time they have sex with anyone, anywhere. Unless you are both virgins, it’s an excellent idea to go together to get tested near you.
Think of STD testing as the first intimate act you do with your special someone. It may even set the tone for a very honest relationship where communication reigns supreme.
Joshua Morton is a student studying at medical school. He wants a career in community sexual and reproductive health in the next couple of years, feeling that this area is where he can be of most use, particularly due to his young age and ability to connect with peers.