In the beginning, love affairs are red hot. It’s blissful and easy to wish that things will stay the same. However, some relationships go sour and that red hot passion turns ice cold. But it doesn’t have to be that way. If you want to keep him, don’t stray from the following advice.
Be the Aggressor
Traditionally, men are the ones who ‘chase’ after women. They initiate interest, continuously ask for dates, and paw and plead for sex. However, a lot of men enjoy having the women be aggressive, especially when it comes to passion and intimacy. Try being the aggressor. Sure, it’s known that men are ‘always in the mood,’ but they shouldn’t have to the be the only ones to initiate sex and foreplay.
Some women dote on their men too much. It’s great and healthy to be loving, but a woman who is too accommodating may find that the man will eventually lose interest. Who wants to be with a person who is entirely malleable? Where’s the challenge there? Sure, men have a sense of what they want, but by being yourself, you are showing them things they never knew they wanted. Don’t make your man ‘mold’ you. Be yourself and make him appreciate (and want) you. If you want to send cute good morning texts then do it!
On the other hand, no man (really) wants to be with a controlling woman. Some men are more docile and are easily controlled by bold women, but that kind of dynamic is destructive and usually doesn’t last. Either the man will realize that he doesn’t want to be with that kind of woman, or the woman, losing respect for a man who gives in, may begin cheating or searching for another who introduces a challenge. If you can’t accept your man for who he is, then it’s time to find the right man for you.
Don’t be too overbearing. You don’t want to be one of those girlfriends who keeps their man on a leash, never granting him time to himself or letting him be alone with his buddies. Your man is not a pet; he has an entire life of his own outside of being your boyfriend. Also, don’t make him feel guilty for wanting to spend time alone, do activities, or be with other people. Stay relaxed and trust that your relationship is strong.
After some time elapses, people get complacent and take partners for granted. Be consistent regarding how excited you are to see him and how you treat him. Sure, every couple goes through a honeymoon period that is followed by a plateau; the red hot phase cannot last forever, but real love bears out and gets stronger as time goes by. Remember to do the little things that you did in the beginning of the relationship and never take your partner for granted. Before you take the ‘is he losing interest quiz,’ survey whether you’re being consistent with how you’re treating him.
You have to prioritize the things in your life when you’re in a relationship. For some guys, that means leaving the days of partying and staying out all night with the guys behind. For girls, it may mean spending less time working, shopping, or being a ‘party girl’ with the gals. When you’re in a serious relationship, it means the relationship comes first. It doesn’t mean that you have to be obsessive or neglect friends, family members, or your job. It means you let your partner know how much you value the relationship through the choices you make.
People are different. For example, some are introverted while others are extraverted. Some pursue conflict while others run from it. Be aware and understand the type of person you are and who your partner is. Don’t expect them to react to things like you. It’s the reason why empathy and communication is so important in a relationship. As time passes, personality quirks, defects, and defense mechanisms become apparent. It could lead to arguments unless you stay aware and understand how to identify and resolve conflict.
Regardless of what happens, be confident that things will work out well. Sure, you want your guy to stay interested…as long as he is the right guy for you. If he isn’t ‘the one’ then you don’t want to waste time and energy on him. However, if he is the one, then be confident about him, the relationship, and most importantly, yourself. Men and women are drawn to mates who are confident. Confidence shows that you have attractive qualities and that you are savvy about who you choose as a mate.
Aidan Walker works as a relationship therapist and enjoys sharing his wisdom in his relationship articles which appear on lifestyle blogs mostly.