What do you do when you doubt yourself?

The big day is nearly here. Tomorrow I am leaving Bristol.

Although the last couple of months have felt like forever, moving has at the same time crept up on me and I suddenly feel like I have an awful lot to do and not enough time to do it in. I have spent the last half an hour running up and down the stairs with boxes and bags, hoping to clear my mind of the worry and the doubt, but still it lingers.

Moving under any circumstances I know is hard. You spend so long building up a life around you, collecting stuff, surrounding yourself with things, and then suddenly there it is, just a stack of boxes. You literally have to pick up every single thing you own, see it, put it in a box, take it out again. You unpack, try to recreate what was there before, or maybe something different, but what does any of it even mean?

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These things of course are more than just things – they represent interests, hobbies, passions and shared memories, which is why I suppose that having to look at every single one of them, when so many of the memories are no longer shared, is so sad.

Everyone keeps telling me that a fresh start is a good thing, that once we are in a new house everything will feel better, and I know that’s true, that feelings do fade, but I’m just not convinced I want them to.

8 comments on “What do you do when you doubt yourself?

  1. Bee says:

    Duuuuude… what does anything even mean…
    Bee recently posted…Tea chez Bunny Little’s BakeryMy Profile

  2. MrShev says:

    It’s going to be a bit weird for a while but then life will feel better. In increments, very slowly, but better. You will hit a low point and then you will gradually hit an upward trajectory, but you’ll probably not be aware of it. Good luck.

  3. Kairen says:

    I know how you feel, its shit isnt it. Please excuse my language but sometimes horrible situations call for horrible words. Maybe instead of thinking of it all as a new start etc which is panicking you, think of it all as just ‘different’. Then maybe when your mind has chance to catch up and re-figure itself you can think of it as a new start when your ready to.
    Terribly deep thinking from me especially at this time of day. But do remember there are lots of us who are not physically able to help, may not talk for months on end, but are thinking of you and sending you those stupid virtual hug things.
    x

  4. Pippa says:

    Urgh moving is rubbish enough as it is without that extra emotional weight of what you’re going through. It’s sucky right now but, as they say, this too shall pass. You can do it!

  5. Suzie Grogan says:

    Just take care of yourself. You wrote in Dandelions & Bad Hair Days that you aren’t someone beset with anxieties, but they are only natural and yours will pass, whether you want them to now, or not. You are lovely – write a book about it. A novel, with a feisty, slightly eccentric and incredibly intelligent heroine who drinks gin, loves her children and misses her bloke. You would sell loads xxxx
    Suzie Grogan recently posted…Shell shock on film: myth or reality?My Profile

  6. Purplemum says:

    I feel so bad for you, this clearly isn’t a move that’s sitting easy with you, but remember your you-ness comes from within not from where you’re at. You will be with you where ever you are, you are aces so all will be well.
    Purplemum recently posted…Five parents home safety tipsMy Profile

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  8. Sam says:

    Like Kairen said, here’s a stupid virtual hug, heartfelt from the US. You seem to have such a light spirit, and of so much change can weigh anyone down. Here’s to new memories and special times ahead for you.

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