A short rant about car air freshners

I had a long day yesterday. I delivered a Twitter workshop in Bristol in the morning and another in London in the evening. It was nearly 1am by the time I got back to the train station and found a taxi to take me home.

All I wanted at this point was to take a deep breath and relax, but of course you can’t physically do that in a taxi without throwing up your over-priced train sandwich into your own lap because of the stupid bloody ‘air fresheners’ that taxi drivers more than any other car owners insist on polluting their cabs with.

My taxi driver last night had broken away a little bit from the pack and gone with a white dove instead of a tree. In no way did instil any sense of peace or tranquillity in me.

car air freshener

They call them air fresheners, but actually they are anything but. Have you ever smelt anything less likely to make you sigh happily and think to yourself ‘Oooh, what a lovely fresh aroma, it’s like being on a beach next to a pile of freshly cut grass and a bread oven’?

I didn’t think so.

I tried breathing through my mouth but that was worse as I could actually taste the damn thing. If you don’t want to smell them you certainly don’t want the sensation of a so called magic tree being laid gently across your tongue. Breathing through your mouth you also have to worry about looking like a slack jawed puppy.

I went back to nose breathing. In less than a minute I was sneezing.

“Bless you,” said the taxi driver.

What I meant to then say – what I screeched in my head at least – was “don’t bless me you fool! Stop the car, rip down that ridiculous thing and bury it deep underground. Right now.”

“Thank you,” I said instead.

Is there anyone out there who isn’t physically sickened by these things? I’d like to know.

Like the ranting? You can read more of them here.



12 comments on “A short rant about car air freshners

  1. Kat says:

    OMG That is me!! I hate them sooo much. I think it’s because the smell actually reminds my brain of being little and getting carsick all the time, so now I associate it with feeling sick and voila. I have the same with fragranced baby wipes reminding me of poo. or is that just me….

    • admin says:

      I know what you mean about the wipes Kat – you get a whiff and your body sort of braces itself for what it thinks is going to come next! Smell is such an evocative sense isn’t it?

  2. Emma Burnaby-Atkins says:

    That we me last night – got into minicab for a 25 minute journey and was overpowered by its ‘ lemony freshness’ which made me feel that I was drowning in a vast vat of CIF kitchen cleaner (is it wrong that I still want to call it Jif? Possibly dates me!). Would I have preferred the driver’s BO or his fag breath? Maybe not, but, still…

  3. What you need to worry about is the alternative. I mean, put yourself in the taxi driver’s position. What is he being exposed to that makes those things preferable?
    liveotherwise recently posted…Saturday snippets 1 March 2014My Profile

  4. Beeface

    the worst thing is in summer when the car is all warmed up and stuffy and the air freshener smells warm and its everywhere ergh I feel sick just thinking about it.

  5. […] went last year and found it a very humbling experience. While I am ranting about car air fresheners and my children’s inability to find objects that are right in front of them, these women are […]

  6. […] know that normally I complain about stupid stuff like car air fresheners and generally take the mickey out of myself, but I want to be serious for just a couple of […]

  7. Emma Otusajo says:

    I totally agree with this! Those fresheners smell so fake and sickly and have yet to find one that smells of freshly cut grass or flowers! I like your blog as well – the layout and the different features of it. You have a good style of writing that is both light-hearted and engaging.

    Emma Otusajo recently posted…There’s a Reason They Call It LabourMy Profile

  8. Rebecca Frew says:

    Why are car ‘air fresheners’ even needed?! Surely, if your car smells that bad you could crack a window for some actual fresh air?!
    Rebecca Frew recently posted…Scarlett’s blog 15.12.14My Profile

  9. […] in a witty and charming way about something like car air fresheners, I mean properly rant about something, anything at all really. I can feel the tension across my […]

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

CommentLuv badge