A short rant about bath fillers

There is something that has been bothering me. I noticed it first on a TV ad, and then again at the weekend in a flier that fell out of a magazine.

It’s bath fillers.

‘What the hell is a bath filler?’ I hear you cry, your forehead crinkling in confusion, and you may well ask. In my mind a bath filler is a young man draped in robes, with a crown made of leaves, who fills your bath for you with fresh goat’s milk while you lounge back, sipping champagne and eating peeled grapes, handed to you by a young maiden. It sounds so decadent, what else could it be?

It’s a tap.

An actual tap.

I did wonder for a little while if a bath filler* might be something quite different, that it might have some distinguishing feature that sets it apart from an ordinary bathroom tap, but apparently not. I have been doing some research this morning, trying to give the bathroom industry the benefit of the doubt, but then I found this:

Bath fillerThere are a few things I would like to draw your attention to with this bath filler**. Firstly, this is no ordinary bath filler*** – this is a ‘Deck Mounted Bath Filler’. The rule here seems to be that the closer the bath filler resembles an ordinary tap, the longer and more ridiculous its name has to be.

Then we have the price. I have never bought a tap before, but £143? For a tap? (I am showing my naivety here – I bet this is cheap for a bath filler.)

Finally, and possibly my favourite part of the whole thing, is the ‘Quick Overview’. What might you expect to read in the summary of a bath filler? Perhaps you want to know what it’s made of? How big it is maybe?

Don’t be silly.

The important thing to know here is that with this bath filler you can ‘lie back and soak up the atmosphere of days gone by’.

Um, excuse me? Is this just because it has Regency in the name? Are you seriously going to lie in the bath, gaze at your ‘Regency Deck Mounted Bath Filler’ (I can’t even begin to describe how painful all of those capital letters are), and imagine yourself revelling in excess amongst the aristocracy? I highly doubt it.

More likely you will be lying there thinking ‘I can’t believe I paid that much for a tap.’

*Tap

**Seriously, it’s a tap.

***TAP DAMN IT! (You get the point.)

 

36 comments on “A short rant about bath fillers

  1. Haha! What a wonderful rant :-)

    Completely agree… it’s a TAP. They’ll be calling plugs “bathwater retainers” next, or something equally dumb.
    Zoe Corkhill (Mama Geek) recently posted…Review: Worlds Apart Girls Patchwork Toy BoxMy Profile

  2. Rob Lang says:

    Don’t you own a Water Immersion Enabler to attach your Water Immersion Enabler Filler?

    This kind of marketing gets my goat. I imagine the people who designed it agree with you and then Marketing were told to find a way to charge ONE HUNDRED AND FORTY THREE POUNDS for it!
    Rob Lang recently posted…#28 – Why?My Profile

  3. Ella says:

    Oh I feel your pain! My pet hate is that clothing has become singular: great with an ankle ‘boot’ or with a skinny ‘jean’ – when did that happen?!

  4. I’m probably getting my terminology mixed up, but in my mind the phrase “bath filler” brings to mind that line of sealant betwixt bath and tiles.

  5. Patricia Walker says:

    £143? £143 for a tap? Yes seriously…it is just a glorified tap…ok so it is just a glorified TAP! I struggle to believe that there are people out there stupid enough to pay £143 (Shame the figures can’t be capitalized too!) for a TAP of ANY description!! But there must be or we wouldn’t have Regency Deck Mounted Bath Fillers…it is after all a posh name that we’re paying for not just another rubbish TAP

    • admin says:

      A tap. It doesn’t bear thinking about. Why does everything cost so much??? I swear a loaf of bread used to be about 50p too…

  6. emma T says:

    Ha ha, that really made me chuckle. Am so with you on this one
    emma T recently posted…Halloween treats: Oreo PumpkinsMy Profile

  7. Kathie Auton says:

    My tap is not very good at filling the bath…IF ONLY I’D BOUGHT A BATH FILLER!!! Then I could lie back, rub a bit of Solid Bar Washing Substance (soap) onto my Textured Cleansing Disk (sponge) before heading off for a rest in my Horizontal Sleeping Platform (bed).
    Kathie Auton recently posted…Roly Poly Baked ApplesMy Profile

  8. I once saw some packaging for a torch that didn’t use the word “torch” instead it was something along the lines of “Directional darkness eliminator”
    Kath Knitty Mummy recently posted…What I Wore (and Made) Wednesday – Fake Infinity DressMy Profile

  9. Omg how much?
    I was only considering buying some new ones as mine look horrid with limescale etc…..limescale remover it is then!
    Clare Nicholas recently posted…Pan fried Pork in a Creamy Sage SauceMy Profile

  10. Oh. My. God.

    I thought it was going to be some kind of bath salt, or that weird bath jelly you can get for kids. But a bath-filling device? Wow!

    And sadly taps are ridiculously expensive :( I don’t understand why, they’re such a simple tool…
    Ruby Knickers (@RubyKnickers) recently posted…Five Ways to Wind Up a Pregnant WomanMy Profile

    • admin says:

      This is why I can’t imagine ever owning a house. £143 just to buy a tap?? I would either be broke or just living in a tumbledown shack…

  11. Lol, that’s hilarious. If only my taps (sorry bath fillers) were the only thing in the bathroom that needed replacing. Also it makes you wonder about basin fillers.
    mummymakescakes recently posted…Chocolate orange cupcakesMy Profile

  12. Kim Carberry says:

    hahaha!! Bath filler = Tap! Madness!
    Kim Carberry recently posted…Minnie Mouse at Sainsbury’s – Review!!My Profile

  13. Matthew Collins says:

    I suspect they are using more fancy names to fool people into paying more. Though i’m not quite sure who would be daft enough to think £143 for a tap? No Way Jose but also think £143 for a “bath filler”…hmmm reasonable….

  14. Katie says:

    Ha ha – loved this post, really made me laugh. I had never even heard of the term ‘bath filler’ before – i have clearly been missing out as we only have bog standard taps on our bath ;)
    Katie recently posted…V is for VirusMy Profile

  15. Purplemum says:

    I love this post. Goodness you have been cracking on with the important stuff this week eh.
    Purplemum recently posted…Win An Easy Tag Starter SetMy Profile

  16. 76sunflowers says:

    Baha! But…it got your attention didn’t it?! Even though it was just a tap.
    76sunflowers recently posted…Musing on a Monday {the optimist vs the pessimist}My Profile

  17. Jane says:

    Bonkers woman. Keep it up!
    Jane recently posted…CATS The Musical Review – Bristol HippodromeMy Profile

  18. Emily G says:

    when I initially read bath fillers, I was sort of thinking bubble bath! What a ludicrous name. I’m just buying a new house at the moment, and all the terminology they use is crazy! I love the days gone by description, if only a tap could make all our dreams come true!

  19. Aly says:

    Ha! I had a similar pet peeve when I was a chef.Coming up with over-descriptive ways to write Shepherds pie was mind boggling.I do sympathise though as a blogger friend writes product descriptions and she finds it really boring.
    Aly recently posted…Blip- Postnatal Depression Awareness WeekMy Profile

  20. fritha says:

    haha love these ranty posts, they really make me laugh. I told Tom all about your freezer, ice box story too xx
    fritha recently posted…Southwood StoresMy Profile

  21. […] recent rant about taps was so popular that I have been trying desperately ever since to think of something else that […]

  22. Sally says:

    My idea of a bath filler is the same as yours, and I might even consider paying £143 for that kind of bath filler. As long as I can lie back and gaze at it while I soak up the atmosphere etc.

    But £143 for a tap with a poncey name? I don’t think so!
    Sally recently posted…Quick Cheese and Bacon PastaMy Profile

  23. […] has been doing his best since the tap incident to send me links to things that will make me […]

  24. Isabel O'Brien says:

    Just browsing through your blog and found this, it made me giggle and not much does at the moment.
    “Tap damn it!” :’)

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