Generally, I am pretty liberal-minded when it comes to eating and drinking. I will eat food I drop on the floor at home, happily eat left over pizza for breakfast, lick sambuca off another woman’s breast etc etc
On Sunday though, I had a drink related incident that turned even my stomach.
I was sitting in the cafe at the gym, enjoying a cup of coffee and reading a book. Before you all howl in disbelief, I will clarify that I wasn’t actually there EXERCISING. Heaven forbid. No, I was just sat waiting for Belle while she was swimming with her Dad.
Anyway, I was sat there, minding my own business, half way through my coffee. On the table next to me was a family of four – mum, dad and two kids, all clearly having just enjoyed a wholesome Sunday morning family swim. The daughter, who looked about six or seven, wandered over to my table, and I was all ready to do some sort of friendly smile, when she stuck both her hands into my coffee.
No kidding.
She just dunked them both in, and started swirling them around. I think my jaw may have actually dropped.
Although her dad didn’t even look up from his paper, her mum came over and removed the offending hands. I looked up at her, prepared to do my sympathetic parent bit, and graciously accept her profuse apologies.
“Oh sorry,” she said, and took the daughter off looking for something to dry her hands on.
That was it!!
Am I being unreasonable here? Would it have been too much to expect a bit of embarrassment on her part, and to at least be offered a replacement coffee?? This child wasn’t even a toddler. If Belle did something like that I would be mortified.
It was just disgusting. I had to go and get rid of the cup, as I kept looking up from my book, thinking about drinking the coffee, and then remembering and feeling nauseous.
Yuk.
Oh, NO. That is nightmarishly awful.
Here’s what I would have done:
1. I would have said, “Your daughter just put her hands in my coffee.”
Just to state the obvious.
2. I would have asked the place to provide me with another coffee. I’m sure they would have been happy to do it.
3. Maybe, just maybe the mom was so deeply mortified that she just fled. Like, fight or flight. So it wasn’t so much that she thought it was okay…the other possibility is that the daughter might have had some developmental difficulties and has the behavior of a toddler while looking older.
All those would have been much more sensible than my just sitting there feeling shocked! I am clearly a wimp, adopting instead the ‘not make a scene, just complain about it on my blog later’ approach.
I did wonder if she might have had some kind of development problems, but still, it doesn’t real make it ok to not be given a proper apology does it?
What a bizarre thing to happen.
That is bloody revolting!
Aha ha ha ha ha ha!!!
Sorry, I knew I shouldn’t laugh, but honestly the thought of your face when it happened just keeps sending me into fresh waves of giggles! :)
Fresh coffee & pastry of your choice, as well as apology. When my kids were toddlers they would not have done this kind of thing, if only because they knew that coffee is SACRED stuff. And they definitely wouldn’t do it now- why would anyone want to look like a baby?
Exactly! Coffee is Special. Fact.
I’m going to offer the bleating liberal Special Needs defence here. It’s odd. It’s a bit TOO odd. Who knows what was going on there, but maybe they’re beyond making too much of a fuss about it any more.
Sure, the parents might be used to it, but a replacement coffee was totally in order, regardless of what Special Needs the child may have.
She should at the very least have offered you a replacement coffee. What a cheek!
I’m with Rin and can’t stop laughing!!!
Totally hillarious, but yes bloody cheeky not to aologise and buy a replacement.
I take it the coffee wasn’t boiling hot!
No, fortunately for the child I have a habit of getting distracted and letting drinks get cold. There was a tiny (evil) part of me that wished it had been hot though… *bad lady*
How gross!! As a mom I would’ve been mortified if my kid did that and definitely would have at least offered a replacement coffee. A simple, “oh sorry” almost makes me think this child does this regularly! Eww…..
Perhaps she sticks her hands in drinks everywhere they go and they have become oblivious to it – yuk :-(
Wow, that is a strange thing to do.
I agree with those who have commented that the child might have some kind of developmental disability. I don’t think that’s really an excuse for the parents, though. I am Mom to a seven-year-old with autism, and yes, he does from time to time do things that make other people go, “Eh???” But that doesn’t give me the right to brush it off when it affects other people. When it happens, I apologize profusely, explain the autism, and offer to put the situation right. With very few exceptions, people are very understanding.
Well exactly – I was totally prepared to be understanding. It was the mum’s reaction that shocked me more than the actual hands in the coffee. Well, almost as much…
LOL!!! Alright… apparently I have to be the one who says this… why did you let a strange child get near your coffee? If I have food stuff in a public place I am compulsively territorial. Mostly because kids spill so much, but for other reasons too. ;)
Great post!
Well, it was a fairly exposed table. I clearly should have taken more precautions though – perhaps some kind of wall of condiments, mouse traps around the table edge etc…
I’m far more revolted by the mom’s cavalier attitude than by what her daughter did. I definitely would have said something to the mom like, “You know, you might want to teach your child not to do that. First of all, she could have burned her hands. And also, we live in a dangerous world now, and you never know how someone will react by having hands stuck in their coffee.” Of course, had her daughter burned her hands in your coffee, she would have sued you.
Oh my goodness, I wonder what was going through that kids mind at the time. Thank goodness your coffee wasn’t scalding hot. Yes, you would think the mom would at least offer another coffee.
I don’t blame you for not drinking the coffee…and yes…they should have offered to buy you another cup of coffee.
http://www.runtobefit.wordpress.com
I would have fallen over with embarrassment if that was my child and then would have apologized a million times to the point of annoyance and would have insisted on replacing your coffee along with making my child come over and personally apologize! I would have most likely had your reaction though just because of being in complete and utter shock of what had just happened! That is so odd! But the reality of it all is some parents just suck today. They have no care for the people around them and enforce no discipline for rude behavior of their children.
The child made me smile, lol.
Actually, I agree the mom needed to apologise, but rather like she really meant it. The way you wrote it, I don’t think she did, that’s weird. I never had any incident of a child dipping hands into an others cup or something though so I can’t really say I feel you!
http://sulfonix.wordpress.com
she should have paid to get you a new one.
http://beckyyk.wordpress.com/
I had a similar experience in the New York Museum of Natural History cafe, when a child about the same age wandered up to our table and poked his finger into my son’s chocolate cupcake. The parents didn’t even apologize, just called the child’s name with a tired grumpiness. Five minutes later he wandered back again, the parents totally oblivious, and just stood staring for a minute before wandering away. What happened to parental control? Or teaching our children basic manners?
That’s not happening anymore. It doesn’t matter what other peoples children do to other people these days doesn’t matter. It’s a shame.
Oh, that is just gross! And unexcuseable! At that age, a child knows better.
She should have offered you a fresh cup of coffee!
That is really weird, but funny too. I mean, how can you not laugh at the thought of a kid just randomly sticking her hands in a stranger’s coffee? Of course, 6 is a bit old too be doing stuff that strange. If she did have a disability, I agree with the commenters saying that a brief explanation would be best. At the community pool where we swim, there is a little girl who is apparently autistic. She likes to say “Hi!” over and over again to everyone in the pool. Her mom just simply warns people on the first “Hi!” that there will be more to come. After that, everyone just smiles back at the girl and says “Hi!” too. Her mom’s quick explanation changes it from something that would be annoying to something that makes us all smile. In fact, I’m smiling now, just thinking about it!
That’s disgusting. I think the most disgusting part was the mother’s nonchalant attitude. Definitely an interesting experience though!
Oh my goodness.. I would have made the mom buy me a new coffee.. was there something wrong with the child? like was she slow or something? or was she just a bratt?
wow – I was reading all this and shocked at the mom’s behavior and then I read the response suggesting that maybe the mom was mortified and just wanted to flee – instantly I remembered being with my darling four children and husband on Valentine’s Day in a hotel swimming pool, along with various swooning couples enjoying a weekend in Banff, when one of our sweet children threw up his burger and fries into the pool. You never saw four kids being herded from a pool so swiftly by embarrassed parents who spoke to absolutely no one – never reporting the mess to staff, cleaners or romancing swimmers – we were just so out of there!
hahahaha! You are officially worse parents than the ‘hands in the coffee’ girl’s. Hilarious :-)
I totally agree that the parent should have offered profuse apologies along with a vivid display of embarrassment as well as a new cup of coffee in lieu of the situation. A stern chat with the child as to why the dunking of hands into the cups of others would also not have been amiss. But, I must say I for one am grateful for the story and the laugh it brought to my morning, so there’s a small silver lining. :)
Ooops, reposting to correct the typo!
I totally agree that the parent should have offered profuse apologies along with a vivid display of embarrassment as well as a new cup of coffee in lieu of the situation. A stern chat with the child as to why the dunking of hands into the cups of others is not appropriate would also not have been amiss. But, I must say I for one am grateful for the story and the laugh it brought to my morning, so there’s a small silver lining.
Print a copy of your post – along with all the comments – and pin it to the wall in the gym cafe. Actually, you’d better not, the girl would probably tear it down and use it as napkin to wipe your coffee from her hands. ;-)
How bizarre. Probably a good thing the coffee wasn’t hot. Imagine if it had been – she’d have been scalded and you’d have been sued. I agree there’s a silver lining – you got a great blog post out of it at the very least.
The parents’ lack of reaction almost makes me wonder if this is something she routinely does … if they’ve been desensitized to the coffee-hand-washing ritual!
Regardless: Ewwww. And ick. I can’t imagine… ;)
Someone would have been buying me a new coffee! Sounds very similar to something that happened to me with a brat and the coffee stirrers. What a fun blog. Congrats on FP!
Oh deary me. i have come to this post far too late to say anything original. However if as I suspect it was Esporta I will now politely decline Peter’s invitations for coffee there and drag him up to Costa :-) If it wasn’t, then as everyone else says a replacement should have been embarassed out of them and they shoulld be thankful their child doesn’t have first degree burns…
It WAS Esporta! The man in front of me had to complain about his coffee too – ‘What even IS a mocha?’ the coffee boy asked him when he took it back to complain it had no chocolate in it…
Wait… what? A barista didn’t know what a mocha was? Umm… find a new job buddy.
If that was me i would have walked over, dropped my pants, and weed in her chocolatte.
But seriously now, that isn’t on at all.
Tut tut. Since when is this behaviour “normal” it doesn’t require a bit more explanation…
M2M
At the very least she should have bought you another cup of coffee. Ridiculous!
Crystal
http://www.crystalspins.com
just like that? What kind of mother is she ? If i were you she would have gotten an earful from me – the mother not the girl. And i will make so much noise to embarrass her. No shame on her part. You didnt pick the money you use to buy coffee off the streets. Sorry. Pardonez moi. I know im ranting. Im pmsing i guess. :P
I relate to keatsbabe – so many excellent comments above mine, but what was wrong with that mother? If my child had done such a thing I would have been absolutely mortified. I would have bought you a new coffee plus a gift certificate for more! Unacceptable!
You def. deserved a more thorough apology. Eww!
Don’t feel bad about not saying anything, I wouldn’t have either. You certainly have the right to be mortified!
Where were you? Just want to make sure it wasn’t one of my kids.
A new coffee should be in order, which would have been especially awesome because yours must not have been too hot if she stuck her hands it.
Next time I’m having a beer in a restaurant, I’m going to encourage a small child to come play next to our table just as I’m about to finish my beer. They spill it, apologetic parent buys me another round, repeat. Brilliant. Except one of my four will probably spill it first.
Thanks for the inspiration. And congrats on Pressed. Love the voice.
Chase McFadden
http://SomeSpeciesEatTheirYoung.com
Okay – that’s just gross. I am not sure what I find more upsetting: the hands in the coffee or the lack of a decent apology with offer to replace the coffee. Regardless of whether the child was a toddler, a school-aged kid or had special needs, there is still something called manners and the parents should have stepped it up.
On the other hand, the picture I have of your face at said moment, is pretty hysterical.
That’s disgusting. Those little hands (and fanny) should have slapped oh-so-gently and they should have bought you a new coffee.
If I had been that mom in this situation, I would have without a doubt offered a replacement coffee. It’s not as if you invited the child to stick their hands in your coffee! I was just commenting to my boyfriend yesterday how it seems that manners have certainly gone by the wayside in today’s society, and I think this proves it. Some people just have no decency.
wow haha, I don’t have any children but I nanny quite a bit, and even though they aren’t my children and they are obnoxious I feel completely embarrassed when they do something weird like that to a stranger. It may just be a hint that the parents actually allow this type of behavior and think it’s normal. Rude.
I agree that there should have been a fresh steaming cup of java headed your way after that. I would have been mordified if one of my kids did that. Must happen more often than one wants to think about.
If that was my child that did that, yes, I would have been quite embarassed but without you even asking me, I would have bought you another coffee, no questions asked.
Congratulations on being on Freshly Pressed! Sometimes we have experiences that are so unexpected that we are too shocked to even respond. I don’t think I would have been able to react fast enough to ask the parent to buy me another coffee. The parent simply should have offered and made profuse apologies. In fact, a child of 6 is old enough to give an apology. Another reminder to monitor the behavior of our kids.
Some people have weird kids and they are letting them grow up to be weird adults too. Scares me a lot. My son has Down syndrome and I would never, never, never, never have allowed him to do anything like this. I don’t think he would have even thought about doing something like that when he was little – makes you wonder about the family! North Coast Muse @ http://sally1029.wordpress.com
I once had a child come over and stare at my daughter for an uncomfortably long time, then, never taking his eyes from hers, picked up a crayon and start colouring in her picture (we were at one of those wacky kid friendly pub grub places *shudder*) – sadly he picked on the wrong 2.5 yr old and she put him right in his 7yr old place. Parents = oblivious.
Ewww ewww ewww!!!! Definately warranted at least a fresh cup of coffee. I love your posts Jo – Keep em coming as they alwasy make me smile xxx
Oh my goodness! Nasty! You’re right, that Mom should have done more than just saying, “oh sorry”.
I’m sorry! At least the coffee wasn’t full. Not a COMPLETE waste that way. :-)
I blame the parents. No manners whatsoever. Shameful, really. Too bad the coffee wasn’t really hot.
How odd! Funny though! :D
I would have demanded she buy me a fresh cup of coffee. I would also have advised her to buy some reins or teach her child some bloody manners!
Isn’t that just lovely, haha.
OMG, I totally know this child.
This must be the same kid who came over to my table at Starbucks one morning around a year ago and took a bite my blueberry muffin. Just waltzed right over and helped herself.
Maybe she needed your coffee to wash down my muffin?
Should we lobby for a leash law? Kidding, kidding. But seriously. :)
Holy crap. If it had been me, I probably would’ve stared at the woman and said something like, “your daughter just put her hands in my coffee. Would you please replace it? Your daughter obviously wanted this one.”
But, then again, I am the confrontational type.
I don’t have children of my own, so I’m not usually the best person to deal with situations like this, thus the confrontational nature of how I’d handle it.
I think your reaction is quite normal. I think the mother of the child was out of line. She should’ve offered to replace your coffee. Just saying “sorry” isn’t going to fix that your coffee was ruined.
Gross! That mother should’ve at least offered to buy you another coffee. What is WRONG with people now days?
That is horrible! She definitely owes you a coffee. If you see her again, you should say to her, “remember me? I’m the one you owe a coffee to.” If the kids was 1, it may be forgivable, but 5? That’s just ridiculous.
Oh my gosh. That’s so disgusting. Maybe the other mum was too mortified to approach you about it. Perhaps the cafe could have given you another-without charge?
Wow!! That’s a little shocking! I think I would have done the exact same thing haha.
In situations like that I never know what to do. Do you yell at the kid for acting that way? Do you yell at the mom for being comletely oblivious? Do you yell at all? If the parent doesn’t discipline the child it makes me think I should cause that child is going to grow up with bad behaviour as their mark. But then again the child could just have some illness and not know the difference between what’s right or wrong. It makes it a weird situation.
The mother could have offered you a cup of coffee. It makes me think how was she raised. ya know? Sepi.
http://journalbysepi.wordpress.com
this is why some animals eat their young LOL
It is simply amazing to me how little respect some parents show, and by default teach their children. I can even understand some of the comments about the child having developmental issues, but the mother should still have at least offered an apology!
Tyler F. Long
Dunwoody Norcross GA
I share the sentiment that the event was disgusting and the mother irresponsible. However, the most disturbing thing is that you got off easy: I have seen more than one mother who would have panicked about the child’s hands being scalded—and then direct her anger at you for not paying attention and endangering her child’s safety…
I read a few websites dealing with absurd human behaviour in a humorous way and normally I would have posted a link here. Having had bad luck with spam filters lately, I instead advice googling “not always right” for one example.
Wow, I am so sorry that happened.
That brings me to a point I had blogged about on my tumblr. What has happened to manners? I mean really I remember when we always said please and thank you and we were not allowed to listen in on the grown up talk. Now kids are not getting that kind of upbringing. I have 2 girls and they are going to be 5 and 2 and they will both say please and thank you, and they know not to run off from us when we are walking together. Whether she was a special needs child or not the parent needs to have that type of situation under control. What if the coffee was too hot? I mean would it of had then been your fault? I say no, it would not have been. We need to own our mistakes and get back to showing our kids who are the future of our world what a good set of manners is and looks like.
That is how I feel about that!
Oh Wow! I think I would have gone over to their table and put my hands in one of their cups (if they had a cup of coffee). Then I’d smile at the parents and say, “wow, that feels great! Now I see why your daughter did it to my coffee.”
Well, it shows once more, one could do a lot more with coffee than just drink it. No wonder I enjoy writing so much about these array of possibilities day after day…
By the way, YES and DEFINITELY!, that so called Mother should have offered much more than what she did and buying you a new one was a MUST.
I do apologize for her behavior.
This is my unofficial 1st day being on wordpress. thanks for sharing. Disgustingly this put a smile on my face.
You should have gone all Shia LeBeouf and thrown your coffee on them. I would have been so mad!!!
Dear Ms. Middleton,
Mother Hen here.
Granny Hen used to say “If you can’t do the right thing, the least you can do is feel guilty about it!”
Of course, Granny Hen had elevated guilt to an art form, or maybe even a religious sacrament.
However, in this case Mother H. has to side with Granny.
That woman showed some cheek not being utterly mortified! And the nerve of her not putting a total guilt trip on the child, too! What are mothers coming to these days!
Pass Mother Hen the smelling salts, please dear! She feels a conniption coming on.
Aghastly yours,
Mother Hen
http://motherhensnest.wordpress.com
Wasn’t she burned, though?
Sad to say but it doesn’t suprise me, humans are strange creatures and although primarily the same on the outside have very different boundaries and values on the inside
Like you if that was MY child i would have offered an apology AND a replacement coffee.. but then, this is what makes us different, and our world colourful and crazy..
Thanks for sharing, enjoying your blog xx
Ha…some people have no control over their kids. That’s funny I read this just now, because only today I was eating lunch and a child stole chicken directly off my plate! And it wasn’t just a little piece, either, it was a big piece of thigh that I hadn’t even touched! The little munchkin didn’t even wait until I was taking a drink or looking the other way. He just said ‘¡Hola!’ and happily pilfered my pollo and began enthusiastically scarfing it down.
The resturaunt gave me another thigh. I guarded it carefully and kept my eye on the rapscallion hovering over near another table, assumedly planning his next heist on the distracted construction worker’s plate of fish.
I didn’t even see the Mum around. Perhaps he was a street child, there’s lots of them in Peru. Pity about your coffee, though. Who knows what strange and exotic viruses floated into your coveted caffine from those nastly little boy hands.
-MN
This exact thing happened to my friend with her milkshake. I was mortified as well. The mother just said “sorry” and walked off. I was speechless.
Do they not teach their children to not touch other peoples things? Imagine if your daughter had of done that to her coffee.
ishotthepilot.wordpress.com
Wow… why on earth would the kid even think it’s okay to do that? That, combined with how the mother handled it, just shows the kind of home she’s growing up in.
Oh good grief, that’s disgusting! People really seem to have forgotten the art of manners, I would have been horrified and replaced your drink. Hopefully she was just too embarrassed to think straight.
I think MY jaw just dropped! That is disturbingly hilarious. Let’s hope lightning doesn’t strike twice ;o) Thanks for sharing!
Too funny, reminds me of one of those comedy sketch shows where people do bizarre things to strangers…I would’ve been expecting someone to jump out brandishing a video camera!
Totally agree with all comments about the parents, more apologies were definitely in order. I’d like to know what they did after? Did they resume family time or make a sharpish exit?
Anybody dips a finger on my coffee and its world war three
Not MY coffee! I can’t even function without it, no wonder you didn’t know what to do! The mother definitely should have acknowledged the whole shenanigan. . .
evelyngarone.com
Yeah, that’s weird and gross. Should have at least warranted a fresh cup of coffee!
Hi! I saw your posting on Freshly Pressed and your title intrigued me. I’m so happy I read this! I don’t mean to be rude, but I laughed out loud when you said, “and she just came up and stuck her fingers in my coffee.. my jaw nearly dropped..” or something along those lines. That is pretty gross, I have to admit. Thank you for this story! :)
Some people I tell you.
I recently got pushed down by some woman on the road, and instead of an apology,all I got was “Watch where you’re going, beeyatch”
It is funny!
radowatcheshome
I would describe the whole incident “TRAGICOMIC”.. at least you should have asked if she does the same in her parents’ coffee.
One thing it does show though, the stereo type mum and dad parenting doesn’t always mean better behaved children. My two never and would never dare have a tantrum or hissy fit in public. It does convince me sometimes when I see a family out shopping complete with a tantrum wielding child, that us single mums can bring up well behaved children, despite what the media thinks.
I don’t think I’ll ever have that experience, I think I look intimidating to kids.
That is provided they didn’t watch the movie where Vin Diesel is the nanny.
But the problem extends to the parents, they don’t raise kids with certain boundaries.
Other tables should be entirely off limits.
I would definitely have requested a new cup and billed it to the parent.
And add some burgers, fries, you know … for trauma compensation.
:)
Woohoo! WordPress front page, well done you!
That is pretty disgusting…why would she even do that?? :-s
Charlotte x (aka MissSearles…boxeslinesandsquiggles is my new hideout…yes i started another new blog, I want to get away from MissSearles…yes i have a problem…possibly blogging schizophrenia lol)
xxx
I would have sat there like you did. Stupefied by the fact that she had actually put both her hands in my coffee !! Seriously, did you coffee mug look like a water bowl to her !!
OMG. I couldn’t believe it when I read it. I think that people today do not have enough manners. We live in a “whatever” generation and people do not take enough responsibility.
I know what you mean about not having the nerve to do something. Something will happen to me and I will later realize what I should have said or done.
Thank you for sharing.
are you a fan of the tv show friends?
Wow! I agree with -thysleroux – above. Compensation should have been in order. I probably would have been stunned as well, a frozen state of shock. Yep, the mom and dad need to re think their parenting skills. Poor behavior is just that. Thanks for for sharing. Smiles all around.
http://cafetodaymyblog.wordpress.com/
That’s a little…odd! Well, a lot odd actually! Her reaction is even odder!
OMG. I would try not to die on the spot. No seriously, I would apologize profusely and buy you a new coffee. And wouldn’t probably show my face again in that gym? Talk about being flippant, this one takes the cake for sure.
P.S This was my first time to your blog. I have also recently started my own.
http://maryawrites.wordpress.com/
Would really appreciate of some people like to drop by. Cheers :)